Soul Ties: How to Break them and Live in Freedom

Definition of Soul: The spiritual or immaterial part of a human being; An individual manifestation of spirit and mental abilities of a living being including reason, character, emotion, consciousness, memory, perception, thinking, etc

Definition of Ties: To attach or fasten someone or something with a string or similar cord; To restrict or limit someone to a particular situation, occupation, or place.

Let's talk about Soul Ties. Regardless of religious beliefs, soul ties are a concept that anyone can grasp. The premise of soul ties suggests that certain actions can create a spiritual and emotional connection between individuals that can be challenging to break. Typically, soul ties are said to originate from sexual experiences. To better understand this concept, consider visualizing a thick, heavy rope connecting your waist and neck to the person you slept with. The thickness of the rope represents the level of emotional, physical, mental and timely investment in the relationship. Now, imagine all the sexual encounters you've ever had, including casual encounters that turned into short- or long-term relationships or connections that nourished or depleted you. Each of these connections symbolizes a rope tied around your waist and neck. This imagery portrays a heavy burden that makes it challenging to move forward in life and build new healthy relationships.

Sexual activity is a complex and multi-dimensional experience that involves the intertwining of spirit, mind, and body with those of another person. It is, in essence, a powerful transfer of energy that creates a deep connection. Even casual and detached sexual encounters like one-night stands or friends-with-benefits relationships establish a powerful bond between two individuals that may persist beyond the encounter itself. This connection is created by neurochemical changes in the brains of both parties that encourage limbic bonding, and the release of oxytocin, commonly referred to as the 'love hormone.' Oxytocin promotes a deeper sense of bonding between sexual partners and is also released between a mother and her newborn baby. This bond can lead to attachment and addiction, which in my opinion, are the primary components of any soul-tie dynamic. It's vital to recognize that these powerful connections can leave one or both individuals emotionally attached and seeking more, particularly women, whose limbic system is scientifically larger than men's. The limbic system is a collection of brain structures responsible for regulating our emotions, instincts, and memories, which plays a significant role in our behaviors and emotional responses, particularly regarding sexual stimulation.

The concept of soul ties suggests that engaging in sexual relations with someone can lead to the transmission of negative qualities and habits that can adversely affect your spirit. This can be described as spiritually transmitted diseases (STDs), which can hinder you from achieving fulfillment. Your spirit is attached to your soul and your soul is attached to your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, behaviors and your will. If this part of your being is affected and attached to someone else’s soul, can you see how it can cause an imbalance that keeps you from walking in your truth and authenticity?  

I was recently reading an article by Moral Revolution  that discussed several indicators of being in a soul tie. While there are various other ways to identify such a connection, let’s begin by exploring the ones mentioned in the article.

1. You are in a physically, and/or emotionally, and/or spiritually abusive relationship, but you “feel” so attached to them that you refuse to cut off the connection and set boundaries with them.

2. You have left a relationship (maybe long ago), but you think about the other person obsessively (you can’t get them out of your mind).

3. Whenever you do anything – make a decision, have a conversation with someone etc., you “feel” like this person is with you or watching you.

4. When you have sex with someone else (hopefully your husband or wife), you can hardly keep yourself from visualizing the person you have a soul tie with.

5. You take on the negative traits of the person that your soul is tied to and carry their offenses whether or not you actually agree with them.

6. You defend your right to stay in a relationship with the person that your soul is tied to, even though it is negatively affecting or even destroying the important relationships in your life (husband, wife, kids, leaders, etc.)

7. You have simultaneous experiences and/or “moods” as the person your soul is tied to. This can even include sickness, accidents, addictions etc.

And if I may add an 8th one: You are very guarded and closed off to a connection with anyone sometimes to the point that the whole dynamic of dating and relationships is something you don't even visit.

If you identify with any of these examples, know that you are not alone, and there are various approaches to breaking unhealthy soul ties. While what works for one person may not work for another, I would like to share what has been effective for me and what continues to be.

Invite God. All things are possible with God. This will set the foundation and the tone since inviting God is inviting in truth and truth is love.

1. It's important to recognize and acknowledge any unhealthy connection or soul tie you may have, without denying its existence.

It's essential to recognize when a connection is not conducive to our overall well-being. As with a broken arm, we can't ignore it indefinitely, and we must acknowledge it to seek proper medical attention. Attempting to use a broken arm or performing tasks that require its use will only result in discomfort and further injury. Acknowledging the issue and accepting that something is wrong is the initial step towards identifying and resolving the problem.

2. Setting clear intentions is crucial when seeking to break a soul tie.

Breaking away from a toxic relationship requires a considerable amount of effort and willingness to undertake the necessary steps. The process may vary from person to person, but for me it started by practicing forgiveness, incorporating prayer, affirmations, and a lot of releasing through crying.

Forgive: Consider extending forgiveness to individuals who may have caused you distress or pain and make amends by seeking forgiveness from anyone who you may have harmed intentionally or unintentionally.

Pray: Pray to break all soul ties with (name of person) And cut off all influence from them. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Ask God to send back to them all that is theirs and reclaim all that is yours. Ask God to reintegrate any part of you or that person that may have been detained through this/these soul ties and restore you both to wholeness. Have faith that you will start to feel healed and released from the soul tie.

Affirm: I am free from soul ties. I am releasing everything and everyone that does not serve my higher good. Put these on your mirror, as a screensaver or anywhere you can see it every day.

Release: Cry! Cry! Cry! It's natural to feel overwhelmed by emotions and to express them through tears. It's okay to cry and let it out. Every woman should have a designated crying pillow for this purpose. Crying is not a sign of weakness, rather it's a healthy way of releasing emotions. It's disappointing when things don't work out, but sometimes it's for our greater good. Trust and surrender to God’s plan and acknowledge and release the pain that comes with ending a soul tie. As human beings, we all yearn to be loved, seen, heard, and affirmed, whether we choose to admit it or not. When we feel like these needs aren't being met, it can be painful. It's important to acknowledge and release these feelings, particularly when they involve soul ties, to allow for the healing.

During your healing process, it's crucial to be intentional about the type of content you consume. Music, in particular, can significantly impact your mood and emotions. Therefore, it's advisable to avoid songs that elicit negative feelings and instead listen to music that elevates your spirit or motivates you. Whether it's worship music, trap beats, or smooth jazz, choose music that uplifts and inspires you to move forward. It's challenging to overcome heartbreak and negative emotions if you're consistently listening to sad songs. So, consider listening to artists whose music can help uplift your mood and propel you towards a more positive outlook.

3. Start the deep healing

Incorporating writing and journaling into your daily routine can be incredibly therapeutic and empowering, serving as a catalyst for deep healing. Whether you write about your goals, emotions, inspiring quotes, or scripture, putting your thoughts on paper can be a cleansing experience. For instance, I began blogging and writing my first book to tap into this powerful tool for personal growth.

By shifting your focus on activities that enrich your life instead of those that drain it, you can experience significant changes. Such activities may vary from person to person, including pursuing further education, acquiring new skills, traveling, giving yourself a makeover, learning a new language, engaging in community service, starting a ministry, launching a business venture, embarking on a fitness journey, breaking free from unhealthy habits, establishing healthy habits, or rebuilding relationships with friends, family, and yourself. These endeavors add value to your life, offering a sense of confidence, self-worth, and healing.

The process of breaking soul ties may appear extreme to some, but it requires a deliberate and focused effort. When we meet someone, we hope to have a future with, it's essential to approach the relationship with a clean slate. We don't want to be hindered by emotional attachments to past partners, nor do we want to impose such attachment on our partner. Therefore, it's imperative to become the type of person we wish to attract, free of emotional burdens that may impede our progress. Although the process can be complicated and emotional, the ultimate outcome of emotional freedom is well worth the effort.

Soul ties are broken when you can observe your ex-partner marrying or being with someone else without feeling any emotional attachment. When you can send love to someone you used to date or someone who caused you pain without resentment, it's an indication that you have healed. It's crucial to remember that the person you're disconnecting from will also feel the effects of the soul tie's dissolution. Therefore, when praying or affirming to break soul ties, be aware of this possibility. Don't be surprised if an ex-boyfriend from years ago randomly contacts you after breaking the soul tie. It's not a sign that you need to reconnect with them; it's simply an effect of them feeling the soul tie's disconnect. They may attempt to reestablish what feels normal to them. So, if you receive a random Facebook message, phone call, or text message saying "Hey Big Head" after praying to break a soul tie, don't lose focus; instead, recognize that your prayers are powerful, and the soul ties are breaking.