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Writer's pictureTrici Noel

7 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved


Appetizer Course

Appetizer Course

Do you love yourself? Of course you do! You'll be surprised at how many men and women don't know how to answer this question. I know I didn't. After realizing the lack of love I was showing myself not only by how I allowed others to treat me but also how I was treating myself, is when the journey of true self care began. Self care is one of the most important ways to love yourself. With so many influences going on around you and inside of you when do you find time to pay attention to yourself to ensure you are in a healthy space mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually?

We sometimes get the impression that we should put others before ourselves because if not it means we are selfish. Its very noble and selfless to help others and pour into others but from where is this act coming from? Is it coming from a full or empty vessel? Self care is essential because when you care and love yourself it permeates to everyone around you from a genuine and truthful space. You have to make sure you are full before you pour into others or you find yourself feeling depleted, used and resentful. There are many ways you can show yourself love and it may differ from person to person but here are some ways I practice loving myself.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others Everyone is on a different journey and comparing your journey to others will always put you in a place of feeling inadequate. Its great to look for others for inspiration and learn from them, but to compare your life, accomplishments or your goals to others is not a act of self love and self care. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, last week, last year and let that be a motivating factor to progress on your own timeline. Self care is accepting that where you are now is where you're supposed to be and making the necessary changes to improve each day.

2. Define your own definition of beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and only you can set the tone for what beauty is to you. I would hope beauty to you is something you can hold yourself to. Focusing on society's definition of beauty which is sometimes based on superficial things will have you looking at yourself as not good enough. You are good enough and you are beautiful just the way you are. Believe it and stand on that truth. Making the mirror your best friend will help you to accept yourself just as you are. God makes no mistakes and you were intricately and uniquely made with PURPOSE. No one else is quite like you and that's where your power is.

3. Eat high vibration foods. Food is an energy just like everything else in the world. Being conscious of what you are feeding your body is very important. Eating healthy foods and adopting healthy eating habits is rewarding in itself. Foods such as fruits and vegetables are high vibrating foods since these are foods from nature, they give you energy, make you feel good throughout the day, help revitalize your body and give your body what it need to function properly. Why not eat healthy? Food carry energy so if you're constantly eating dead animals that may have suffered before being slaughtered, that energy is passed on to you. This is not to say, stop eating meat, because I can't tell you what to eat and not to eat, but take that into consideration when consuming anything in your body.

4. Do the things that replenish you as much as possible. If you like to workout, read, take warm essential baths, drink tea, listen to smooth jazz, hang with friends and family, draw, walk in nature, play with your children, sing, dance, meditate, go to church, cook, volunteer, inspire people, make people laugh; whatever make you feel happy and energizes you, make it a conscious effort to do it as much as you can. You have to pour into yourself to love yourself.

5. Celebrate your wins no matter how small they are. We usually wait until we accomplish something big to celebrate, but what if we celebrated our small wins as well. Celebrating your wins will make you feel good about yourself and motivate you to keep on progressing. It raises your energy and confidence to go after the bigger goals and take more risks outside of your comfort zone. It's all about the journey and not the destination. What you learn, and who you become while achieving a goal or desire is where the true joy lies. You grow into the person you need to be in order to live out the goal so find joy in the journey and celebrate each step along the way.

6. Guard your Gates. Since everything is energy, being mindful and conscious of what you feed your soul, spirit and mind is essential to loving yourself. You are in control over who and what you allow in your energy fields. Gates are the same as your Senses (Sight, Touch, Hearing, Smell, and Taste) These are all the ways things can enter your temple; which is your body. What you put in your mind, body and spirit; reflects back out in the world through your choices, words, thoughts, relationships, feelings and ultimately your circumstances. Guard your gates with all of your heart.

7. Be compassionate and patient with yourself. So what you aren't where you want to be right now....keep going. So what you made a mistake or choice that brought on negative consequences....make a better choice next time and seek the lesson from it. We are all learning each day and we can only approach life where we are mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Give yourself grace and acceptance to not be perfect and not to know everything. Accept your flaws and the fact that you are only human and that you may lose your way like people often do. And its okay because as long as God gives you another day , that's a another chance to get it right. And trust and believe you will get it right eventually.

What are some ways you show love and care for yourself? Please share below!

I listen to this song by Lalah Hathaway titled Mirror every morning. It sets the tone for my day and reminds me just how powerful and beautiful I am despite my past mistakes and hurts and inspires me to shine my light and not hide myself because of them. I hope you find inspiration in it as well.

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